Nightmare before Christmas..........

.........scary Santa time is upon us!!
Is it me or Father Christmas looking a bit ropey these days? Look,I realise hes a busy chap,certainly its all go for him from now til'Dec 25th & he is carrying a bit of extra weight,ditto,but.....Santa, the image is slipping! Festive events in church halls & schools across the country are not complete without an appearance of the big man,so obviously Im not expecting the real one to put in a show,but surely being asked to be his stand in is an honour & hey its a chance to wear red velvet, fake fur and a cinch belt-in public,boys! So,come on guys,make an effort! Being a mummy means you get to rub shoulders with a fair few of these rotund imposters in the early years,before little boys & girls see through the disguise & become as discerning as their jaded mothers!So,today saw said mother taking her 10 year old cynic & 4 year old believer to a local craft show,on offer-a sleigh ride with Mr Claus-dashing through a muddy,waterlogged field on a tinsel decked 'sleigh'drawn by 2horses in felt antlers!We gamely hopped on,surely £2 would be a small price to pay for a magic moment that my boy would always remember.I plonked George down next to santa & took my pew opposite,so as to capture the full glory of the moment in my heart & on my camera,we set off with a jolt which threw me forward towards a big red tummy which had no need for padding! Looking up at that big 'jolly' face,surely 'twas not a leer I saw,but a merry grin!"If I'm lucky the pretty mums land on my knee!",ho,ho,hold-up Santa,we are making memories here!As for the apparel,since when did Father Christmas sport a dreadlocked toupee & a matted yellowing beard & what was that sticking through the old fellas whiskers but a label'Adult Size-made by Smithys-England'-shattered dreams!Look,I know not all these old boys can look as fluffy,velvety & twinkly as Dickie in Miracle on 34th street but,if only for the sake of the mummys,try a little harder & lay off the chat up lines!As for George,he was blissfully unaware of this sartorial blunder & had that wonderous look on his face that melted mummys' icy heart.......